The Monster Inside Me

If you could see the real me would you still love me? Would we still be friends? All the real thoughts and feelings that I have to hide. I can’t help the way I truly am. But I can help what I let you see. Evil spirit vile child. Those words resonate through me. I used to think it was lies. I tried to tell myself it’s not true. But the older I got the more I saw of myself. I don’t look like it would be true. I’m married with one child. A house and a business. But evil lurks within me. I’ve had to learn how to respond in a normal manner. Learned to mimic emotions. I don’t feel or know how to truly show love. Someone asked me recently that love meant to me. I didn’t have an answer. I can mimic it though. Compassion, remorse jealousy. Those are just words to me and learned responses. Knowing this about me I really don’t care. But I choose not to show or say how I really think and feel. I do not want to be locked away.

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